It’s my lucky day. I just got an email from Edward.
Here’s what he said:
Hello and good day.
My name is Edward, and I am contacting you for partnership by
reason of the significance of your Nationality, which concerns
claim/transfer of Approximately 21 Million US D0llars in a a
fixed deposit account left by a deceased Boss and Friend for
onward sharing between you and I in a ratio to be agreed.
Kindly get back to me as soon as you receive this email for
complete details as time is of the essence giving that we have
less than 2 month period to achieve this.
I can’t believe it! I’m rich. Now I can start that business I always wanted to start.
Good ol’ Edward.
Then again, why start a business to make money when I am going to receive $21,000,000?
Wait—who is Edward? Do I know him? Why does he need my bank account number, social security number, and mothers middle name?
How does he know me?
How did his dead boss know me? How did he die? Was he killed? Is this drug money?
OH CRAP, I have Pablo Escobar’s money. Now I’m going to die. Because someone is definitely looking for this money.
Should I call the FBI? Change my name and go on the run? Now I’m going to be living in 1972 Winnebago always on the move. Out in the middle of nowhere always looking over my shoulder, just to be shot in the back of the head coming out of a run-down truck stop outside of Nimrod, Arkansas.
Let this be a warning people. Do not respond if you ever get an email from Edward and his dead boss.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to respond to a former assistant to the Prince of Bahrain’s brother who is having some kind of problem getting money into the US.
And yes this is an actual email I received.
Thanks to Comedy Open Mic for giving me the opportunity to enter this contest. I nominate @rhondak and @gumxx.